Wednesday, July 11
I feel like a total loser now, not that i am a loser, just that i feel like a loser. Get it? Whatever. When you know the implications of matter and you know the consequences and then you still do it, what is it called? Dumbass moron. WHY!!?!?!! Why the hell must i try to be nice when i don't exactly the F*ck bother about whether i'm nice of not. Why must persons be so nice to me when i DON'T FEEL like bothering about them at all. Why? Why? Why? If persons stop being so nice or just start talking less to me, i wouldn't feel so bad. Why? Why does persons has such high(?) expectations of me and think that i feel like talking or being in the company of persons? Why? Why must i talk to persons when i totally don't feel like talking and the only reason why i'm talking i because i feel bad. I have changed feelings toward persons. Can't persons feel my changed feelings and can't persons just STOP demanding so much? Things change, people change and you can't expect it to be the same, just like before. I've moved on, i think. I still feel really bad. Friends are not friends just because they feel bad, and just because they don't want to feel bad, they decide to be nice to you. That's not what true friends are. I've been struggling with this about persons for a very long time and it is not in the nature of me to put on a facade and just carry on with it as if i am not at all affected by it when i am. I am sorry, I truely am as i can't account for my feelings. Really, things were not as before. Things changed, I've changed (I'd rather believe that i did) and to me, persons changed. I don't enjoy going out with persons now. I don't enjoy talking with persons now. I dont't enjoy laughing with persons now. I don't enjoy gossiping with persons now. I'm sorry, I truely am. But at least, there is a memorable memory to hold on to.. i need to tell someone, or i'll explode.
On a lighter note.. MICHELLE ANN!! You are getting your sushi tmrw, but shh! My maid is making it.. dont tell michelle! I'll tell her i made it and oh! i owe her sushi because of a dumb reason. She was coming to my house when i realised that i had someting on. yup! haha, and i just blatantly lied to my junior about something!! (: (: (:
SEEYA!
express yourself {9:52 PM}
