Tuesday, July 10
have been wondering and thinking for a short while. yup! this always happens, thinking about all the stuffs around regardless of whether it'll affect me or not.
i wonder what's the point of arguing/quarelling. yes, i do it, but i dont see the point of doing it. so when you know that there's no point in doing whatever you are doing and yet you still do it, then what is that called? indulging in stupidity? no matter how much you argue of quarrel, it will somehow come to an end or even if it doesn't come to an end, time, will heal the heated arguments or what so ever and make it less seriously servere where it was left. you know sometimes i just say thing just for the sake of saying things and sometimes even, without thinking. no, i didn't do any thing wrong or rather, i didn't do any thing serverely wrong but get what i mean? like there is just this buay song feeling and you just have to say something to retaliate and provoke the opposition.
i wonder what's the point of looking down and laughing at people. yes, i do it, and similarly, i don't see a point in doing whatever i am doing. take for example, a frizzy hair person, tying up her hair in an extremely 'act cute' manner. i'll just look at that person and start laughing. such a bitch, yes. not just me alone, many counterparts too, and i am sure that many are too, guitly, even those who are being laughed. also, just because others have a lower self esteem, a lower ego, we look down on them and call them losers and take away their right to do whatever they do. because they are losers, we look down on them, and because they are losers, they are not allowed to do what we winners are allowed to do. in the winner's perception, losers should not be heard. they have no right to talk, to laugh, to gossip. they are just not allowed to do anything. and so when subconsciencely looking down and laughing at others, it is not right to do so. they too, have a right to do whatever they are doing. they can laugh, talk, choose their seats as they wish.
i wonder why i feel the way that i feel. i do things that i do not know why i do. i distanced myself away from you know who and to that, i really do not know why. you know who hadn't at all changed and you know who was just the same, the very same person as before and yet, i did what i did and decided to be such a mean ass. i just can't account for my actions. sometimes, there is just this surge of overwhelming feeling whether good or bad, mostly bad towards you know who and i really really don't know why. i know i shouldn't feel that way but i just can't help it. 'Least you tried' but i will just continue trying not to have that overwhelming surge of feeling. and thank you to the only two people i told. yup, thanks, i realised that it was all on my part and it was after all, a mistake that i made. Yours sincerely.
see ya
express yourself {9:14 PM}
