Saturday, February 24
there should be, but there wasn't. its weird. band..
band, band, band. my life, sadly or happily revolves around band. life story. sec one, i accidentally got posted into the band. i was like practically crying, maybe, i can't remember. first choice cca was loser badminton, which i supposedly got in, but somehow, it became band. i didn't know much of band until i came into the band. i didn't know that the band was good. i didn't know that badminton sucked. i didn't know what band was about. that was fate, i guess, which is in a way, good and bad. sec one band was really nice, except for the seniors part. they seemingly hate us all at that time. but we had our own fun little innocent gang and if you remembered, we were the 'flaggies'. that's our very first outdoor. the first outdoor, we went through hell lots and had fun to the max and of course, there were sad times too. but i don't know. all good things come to an end? people stopped coming for some reason or another. people hated each other. people did things to each other. perhaps, it was the phrase or something that we had to go through. so from being our cute innocent 'flaggies' that were fun loving bonded united, it became nothing like that. sec two. indoor - no one, or almost no one bothered coming, or at least, those who were non-commitee, non-indoor, and non-whatever. that was the breakup of the batch and the innocent group. come to think of it, it wasn't even a batch thing. our batch weren't even close at all at that time. clicks there and there. worstly, i didn't know my section mates well, or at all. the only people i knew in the section was the two seniors that finally didn't turn up at outdoor and i cant remember if they made it to indoor. i didn't know linda nor atikah(however you spell it). they were close like shit and i was an outcast, i think. but there were still vera jolene and yea. sec two sucked to the max. twoE had like five people in band, plus jocelyn. and all of them, dont go for band. so you get what i mean. sec two wasn't really nice, for me. then for some reason or another, i really dont know why, i stared coming for band, or maybe, i was already coming, and i became really really close to vera. yep, i remember that. that was the end of sec two. then secondary three, outdoor again. where some people came back and where out batch became close. but it was also when i had a huge tiff, fight, argument, whatever you called it with my 'best friend' then. i really hated her, to the max. and wondered why she did whatever and what she was and stuff. people started taking sides, i guess. but time heal wounds or quarrels or something. the incident somewhat came to an end and somehow or rather, the batch became close. but i dont really know if time does settle everything cos i never seem to be able to get over the issue. not the event but you know, the reasons behind things. yea, and in this time, i got to know my section mates better, got to know linda better, and got to know jolene, who is my bestest best friend, i guess. so besides that, outdoor really rocked and some reasons to why we were so close was probably because we were small? x) and finally, our hardwork really paid off when we won the display band comp. so band for sec three was really nice. then indoor, this year. we're working towards it. but as usual, only the com people and indoor people and some people, i presume, will come while the rest will not. i dont know what this year will be like but i have a strong sentiment that it wont be good. guess why. people hate each other. people do things behind people back. people are eliminated. people quarrel. people stop coming. people give lame excuses for not coming. people dont come cos they dont feel like coming. people dont like each other. people slack. people have no team spirit. people have no dicipline. people dont realise that they are not united. people sms during combine, people talk when conductor/leader is talking. people just dont do what they did during outdoor, that was what let us win. teamwork, determination, dicipline, hardwork and blah. so with(or without) all this, will we win? i dont know. gold with honours? wait longer...
enough of band. today, in my opinion, sucked most of the time
express yourself {9:15 PM}
Tuesday, February 20
oh dear, linda didnt tell me whats up tmrw. oh dear, she forgot. oh dear, i wonder if she remembered to tell the section. oh dear, she's the SL and she's supposed to tell the section. today was a quiet day. the afternoon was spent at home and i just returned from father's friend house. the two baby things were cute, to the MAX!! lol. OHOHOH, there's school tmrw and there's the SCH rehersal tmrw too and there's the skipping lesson part tmrw too!!
OH DEAR, the comp is lagging, so i shant bother to continuea anymore. its freaking irritating. and i dont think i'll be blogging often or frequently after TODAYYYY!!!
express yourself {10:11 PM}
Monday, February 19
[xian zai de hai zi mei you tong nian.] really? seriously? i dont think so.. define childhood pleaseee. maybe in their/your/whatever years, childhood means going fishing in the drain. childhood means throwing stones at people. childhood means playing cute games. then, think about the past past past generation. what does childhood means to them? i dont know. maybe clutching on to a piece of cloth and drool over it? come on and get over it. with each generation, with modernisation, things change, people change. dont expect things to be the same. you have a better and more improved life now, haven't you? yes, you did work for it, and the results? generation of today not having a childhood. imagine, if you didnt work so hard to achieve what you did today, would we have no childhood as you all proclaim? and is having no childhood bad? again, as you proclaim. then again? what is childhood. my/our childhood was the playground, a little of computer, sports, and definetely nothing like catching guppies or throwing stones. thats childhood. at least for me/us. so stop having that cynical view. BAHHHH! likewise, why are people nowdays comparing us to youths in other nations that are more competitive, that are better that us. yes, they are flourishing, they are rapidly booming and what you call that. havent we gone through that phrase? where everyone is so motivated, where everyone is so hardworking, where everything here seem to be the best here? what have you to say that ten years, twenty years down the road, they would lose their competiveness, they would evolve into youths like us. lazy and unmotivated youths like us. huh?huh?huh? stupid boring people, talk about lameass stuffs like this. think again.
TODAY: secondy day of new year. its not too bad i guess. so i went to the new house and gosh, the best thing there was the BED! omg, it was super huge, it was huge to the max. and of course, we finally took out some $money$ to play x)x)x) how fun was that. except that the money wasnt really mine. i just borrowed some from my dad and erm, oops, lose them all. guess who i lost to. MY DAD! haha. visiting a final place tmrw, i guess. hope that i'll mug tmrw. havent started yet. JOAN HAD FUN TODAY!! X)X)X)
express yourself {10:08 PM}
Sunday, February 18
oh dear. so cny wasn't that bad after all, tho it was boring. i did try my bestest best to talk or interact with the elders and make it a point to smile at everyone i see and mumble a cheerful xing nian kuai le or happy new year. had visitors at my house today and cant believe it. i actually forgot to pack my messily messy table. oh freak, but i dont think anyone saw, i think. and during the day i was so bored that i texted jo cos i was erm, bored to the max. x). but it wasnt that loser this year. i didnt play the comp at my big aunt's house. i just smiled at them throughout and waited for everyone else. money wise, not much. its damn saddening la, cny get so minute sum of money. they are showing little man outside. lol. cant be bothered to go out. and ribena plus lots of henikens (however you spell it) taste super good. i mixed it x)x)x). its bitter and sweet. i drank one huge mug of it but i dont think im drunk x). guess i'll be going to my cousin house tmrw. they just shifted to a new house. so, i'll be going to a new house in the new year!! x)x)x)
im longing for wednesday to come. maybe its because of the rehersal. or because of my friends. or because i dont really like this festivity. lol. i dont know. im just excited that there's school on wednesday. and i couldnt get over the fact that today is sunday. thouht it was monday cos saturday was so free that i thought it was sunday. gahh. and i seriously cant stand some people. bitch to the max la can. its ok to do some things but overdoing it makes you look like a f-ing bitch esp when you are alrd one. esp when you think your not. esp when you think others are. and dont worry, im not refering to you if you think i am. your thinking too much. BITCH
Labels: of the festivity
express yourself {10:14 PM}
Saturday, February 17
bloody hell. blogger forced me into upgrading or something. but since im free, which explains why im here in the first place. lets crap. my v3 is spoit, hell. and they seem to be refusing to get me a new one. lame and lameness la. i dont really mind. lol. so now, im stuck with another hellomoto phone which i dont like as much as i like-d my v3. dont know why but im not that excited or not waiting in eager anticipation for chinese new year to arrive. money? nah, what i'll be getting is like only a substential amout, no big deal. even if its alot of money, i'll just spend it away and the next day, there'll not be any difference. relatives? i see my closer cousins almost every forthnight and seeing them again does not really matter, or does it. its not that i dont cherish ties or bonds or whatever but there is just so much one can do and its not like i can actually associate with them. those distance relative, guess what happens when we go visit. smiles on each other's faces. 'oh!! happy new year. how are you.' throw in a few phrases of auspicious words. then they would say, havent seen you in such a long time and blah. duh! i dont even know your name or your surname or i dont even recogise your face if i were to see you again. then, the parents will strike up lame conversations with each other and the other party, its always the other party, would be unfriendly or just smile lightly as they munched away on whatever food thats on the table. those closer distance relative. dont knows about other people but for me, they are all older people from one or two generation above and really, it sucks. they'll start giving you huggs and kisses and pinch your cheek. thats the fucking worst part. if a friend were to pinch my cheek, i wouldnt mind that much. they're my friends duh. and most importantly, i get to pinch their cheeks back. but imagine, this old lady pinching my cheek and if i were to treat her as my friend, it'll go like this 'bitch!! omg, how dare you pinch my cheeks!!' and i'll start pinching her back. would that or this happen to the frail old lady? NO NO and NO. then this weird thing start to happen. the upper generation people would crowd around and start talking about weird stuff or gossiping about some realtive or something thats lame. its not that us, children, do not try to fit in or anything but seriously, we'll get bored in 2 seconds (im being nice) and excuse ourselves to go with our cousins, who are too, bored. so much so that you see them playing the computer. so no life right?! cny playing computer, loser to the max. erm, that includes me if you havent realise. so now, i think you should know why cny, is not that enjoyable or looking forward to, for me. but even so, this whole cny thing is somewhat or somehow a tradition that should be forgotten regardless of whatever the case it. im just being juvelile about the case, i guess. but it doesnt really matter. i'll get to mug. whether it really happens is another thing.
/i just deleted this weird part
im so so so looking forward to wednesday. cause there's SCH REHERSAL. its so exciting like godspeed! ahhhh. so regretted not bringing home the sax. but the bad thing is that we'll be missing lessons. actually, i dont really mind missing lessons but its the making up of lessons that suck like hell. firstly, we have band, so, we're always busy. secondly, the teachers, are too busy, all upper sec teachers are busy anyway. and thirdly, there's no thirdly. im sick of going home alone, i mean the bedok to home part. at least from school to bedok there's a bunch of people crapping around but after that, its boredom all the way. i cant seem to sleep or anything on the bus alone. at least if dad fetch me, i can still talk to him about some lame stuff and be entertained. gosh, i finally understand the essential loneliness of man. btw, its back to sense of belonging!! x)x)x) YIPEEEEEEEEE!
express yourself {4:34 PM}
Friday, February 16
IM BACK!! x)x)x) havent been doing this for a long time. i dont know what to talk about. hmm,
TODAY: school, cny celebration. band had to do this performance thing in the hall and its super early and i had to wake up SUPER EARLY and, forget it. lol. the band thingy was today. omg, i didnt expect to be so overwhelmed with emotions. thats the sad fact of life, i guess. its like literature thingy, microcosm of the world thingy. that aside, went blading, supposingly with the batch but only the pros and jo turned up. aghhhhhhh, im confused, like damn confused, with the worst ever thing. hell. im still confused. hope to get it sorted out soon.
lastWED: guess what was it? x) it was valentine's day!! omg, received chocs after chocs after chocs and my fridge is filled with 9375091084297years of supply. ok, maybe im exaggerating abit. so the nicest people on earth waited for me to finish band and went out to celebrate valentines. oh yea, we WALKED,
WALKED!! to parkway from school. how cool was that man. guess where we went?! x)x)x) hehh, crystal jade!! to eat some porridge thingy. damn noob la can. we should be going to some classy restaurant with candlelight or something. but, porridge. cool to the max la can. errr..
please please please. let it be. so freaked
express yourself {11:26 PM}